My subconscious is trying to kill me.
Call me crazy if you want, but it's true. I'm conspiring and planning my death behind my own back.
With all the things I've seen and lived through
perhaps it a defense mechanism? Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to protect myself from a breakout of true madness? Or maybe I already am mad.
They say the truly insane are under the impression they are perfectly lucid.
And doesn't one usually go mad after trekking through Hell and back? Or is it possible for the mind to remain intact after viewing monstrosities and demons spawned from the darkest pits?
Maybe it isn't my mind at all, that is attempting to murder me. Perhaps a demon has roosted in my soul and wishes to take control of my mad mind, once its job is done.
This is what they call paranoia. I'm very aware of that.
But throughout all my cursed years, paranoia has kept me alive far better than all the 'realistic' men. Friends are only a fable. Trust just a myth. There is no truth in any of i